tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2235466434053435852.post698769214180926480..comments2023-09-19T12:03:00.562+01:00Comments on Jane Purcell: Freelance Mum: I wish I'd never had children . . . .Janehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16329937118727831213noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2235466434053435852.post-79548685151199254652010-10-18T14:41:14.832+01:002010-10-18T14:41:14.832+01:00@C - thanks for your comment. I find that even a ...@C - thanks for your comment. I find that even a few moments alone can do the trick. Sometimes parents of very small children use going to the toilet as alone time but even then, little fingers sometimes poke under the door!Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16329937118727831213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2235466434053435852.post-78792008659008219852010-10-16T19:04:11.041+01:002010-10-16T19:04:11.041+01:00Thanks for these thoughts. I appreciated reading t...Thanks for these thoughts. I appreciated reading them, even if it doesn't bode well for my future. Here I was, thinking that as soon as my own chaotic life calmed down I wouldn't be wanting these alone moments so often. And it's true, shite music on your ipod is bliss.Millyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11129628721814415337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2235466434053435852.post-17858053322507700402010-10-16T10:15:02.997+01:002010-10-16T10:15:02.997+01:00@Anon - I don't think your poem needs much mor...@Anon - I don't think your poem needs much more fiddling - I particularly like: 'bewildered by this stranger <br />wearing their mother’s skin'<br /><br />@Gillian - bribes are an excellent idea. And following through - once they've got wind that you say 'no no no - oh ok as long as you keep nagging me' you're DONE.Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16329937118727831213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2235466434053435852.post-23943341951650817462010-10-16T03:41:06.482+01:002010-10-16T03:41:06.482+01:00Ha, I was going to suggest payment but thought bl...Ha, I was going to suggest payment but thought blogworld would go into meltdown.<br /><br />How about you don't deduct from her existing pocket money if she is quiet. Then it wont cost you anything extra. Not one red cent.<br /><br />Works with lollies on car trips too. Behave > get the lolly. Muck up and the lolly goes out the window. <br /><br />Tip: buy cheap lollies. Be prepared to follow through. Oh, and watch you are throwing it at. Little old ladies don't take kindly to a boiled sweet in the face. Fact.Gillianhttp://lookmamaloves.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2235466434053435852.post-6776536936379457262010-10-15T21:03:54.741+01:002010-10-15T21:03:54.741+01:00You reminded me of times when my two were very you...You reminded me of times when my two were very young and occasionally I would scream with frustration (very short lived and usually when they had been fighting for an hour or so!) Now teenagers they remember these rare occasions when they thought I'd gone mad! That got me writing- probably not finished yet...<br /><br />The Scream<br /><br />It wasn’t like the one I once saw hanging <br />in a gallery – more like a gush <br />of frustration than a torrent of despair. <br /><br />Most of us have been there - <br />accusations and small fists flying <br />in the rear view mirror <br /><br />until you reach the raft of home<br />and still they continue and you plunge <br />into reason, distraction, bribery - until finally<br /><br />it comes, piecing the air, causing <br />them to stare, bewildered by this stranger <br />wearing their mother’s skin.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2235466434053435852.post-18888913582880805232010-10-14T10:38:54.720+01:002010-10-14T10:38:54.720+01:00@Gillian - good idea re the 'let's see who...@Gillian - good idea re the 'let's see who can be quiet the longest' but she's sussed me out on that. Now she says: 'I will be quiet mummy but you have to pay me.' <br /><br />And isn't it nice to stare into space? Bliss . . . .<br /><br />@Headbang - that is truly shocking and so utterly cruel. I can only hope you received love and validation from somewhere. And yes I agree about the cold dispassionate business.Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16329937118727831213noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2235466434053435852.post-38296585261291811182010-10-14T08:02:33.509+01:002010-10-14T08:02:33.509+01:00As one of the kids who got a lot of shit from his ...As one of the kids who got a lot of shit from his parents just for being alive and needing care, I am inclined to agree with the ex. <br /><br />When a child says "I hate you", what does one say in reply? <br /><br />"Yeah, well I hate you too, you little shit" actually makes light of the situation. It defuses some of the anger, and the word "hate" seems much less hateful. <br /><br />"I hate you", from a five year old, means "I'm angry with you." Peiople who love each other get angry with each other a lot, it seems. And they can be angry with each other, without it affecting how much they love each other, or the enduring nature of that love. <br /><br />Is that a teachable thought in a teachable moment for a five-year-old? I dunno. <br /><br />I do genuinely think a cold, dispassionate statement that you wish your children weren't there, is a lot more damaging. I got that a lot. What was the effect? For a lot of my childhood, I quietly wished I hadn't been had, too. <br /><br />And that, if not countered with reassurances of love and the reliability of care, can lead to terrible consequences. Many of which persist into adult life. <br /><br />Trust me on that one.The Honourable Husbandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05234119524600114890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2235466434053435852.post-81131946922293821092010-10-14T05:57:30.415+01:002010-10-14T05:57:30.415+01:00Let's hope she has an early bedtime. And gets ...Let's hope she has an early bedtime. And gets good at playing the "lets see who can be quiet the longest" game.<br /><br />My Boy has English assignment where he has to win an argument with me on paper. HIs argument is that he want to stay up later. <br /><br />One of my TEN points against this involved having peace and quiet to watch TV, talk to his dad or stare blankly into space for a while without him commenting, asking me something or generally mucking around.<br /><br />HA. I am so going to win this one.Gillianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03011791254441115435noreply@blogger.com