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Friday, 29 August 2008

Catching up on celeb gossip

Just got back from my lovely local hairdressers after a delicious wash and blowdry. They have nice sinks where you don't get up with your spine cracked in three places, and the 12 year old hairdressing assistant doesn't scald and freeze your head alternately before sighing and saying: "Where you goin' on holiday?" She just shuts up and washes your hair. Neither do they specialise in giving you vile head massages that leave you feeling your skull is in a vice.

I love sitting in my chair, drinking tea, letting Carrie do magic things to my hair (ie make it look presentable. I can't do a proper blowdry and that's that. I'm not an eight armed Hindu Goddess which is what you have to be to hold the hairdryer - but enough of that). I love to catch up on the celeb magazines. Apparently Kerry Katona is bankrupt! Blimey - she earned £750,000 on Iceland ads and £400,000 on a magazine column. (What magazine column? Where?) And still, she's as poor as a second term student. And that husband of hers - he looks exactly like a Toby Jug. Maybe that's why he's always buying cars. Oh and Demi Moore once squirted breast milk (her own I presume) at a group of lesbians. Also Danielle Lloyd (one of the bullies in Celebrity Big Brother) is on the up because her boyfriend bought her an expensive handbag. Nice to know you can carry your self-esteem on your arm. And there's loads of tips on how to get a Hot Body. Apparently it has nothing to do with taking Ketamine and diet pills but eating lots of egg white omelettes, fish and vegetables.


Gorilla Bananas said...

That's an amazing stunt that Demi Moore pulled off! Did the lesbians drink it?

Jane said...

Arrgh! I hate to think! Mind you, Demi Moore must have incredible squirting power. When I was breastfeeding, I could only manage a dribble . . .