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Tuesday, 16 August 2011

One in Four Women

Occasionally I get strange emails from companies who say things like: Hey Jane I really am like your blog and read it most times before going on to breathlessly inform me that they wish to offer me a great online opportunity to make $2000000000 a day without even trying!

Or I get further stuttering emails along the lines of I read your blog freelance mum and thought that because of your interests your blog would be perfect to promote our new range of crotchless pants/makeup/eco-seaweed necklaces. (?!)

Today however I was chatting with a friend about Red Flags in relationships and how I want to make sure that when The Girl is dating, I tell her all about them because if I'd known what they were it would have saved me a heap of bother. For example, if a man phones you ten times in one evening because he's worried about you he's not worried, he's trying to control you. Or if he sulks because you want to spend time with your girlfriends, no it's not because he cares it's because he wants to cut you off from your friends. And if within a very short space of time he's talking about marriage and babies, it's not true love it's (all together now) control. All teenagers should know the red flags. I only really opened my eyes and saw my ex-boyfriend for the mentalist he clearly was when I wanted to go out to dinner with a girlfriend and he started to tear his shirt off in the middle of the street, like the Incredible Hulk. Luckily we were in public. I say lucky for me because I started laughing and he wasn't pleased. But when he started sobbing and gripping my hair and saying it was only because he 'loved me' even I couldn't ignore the flashing red light above his head saying: 'RUN RUN RUN'.

So after this chat with friend, I get home and there's an email from a company asking me to blog or tweet about the launch of a new APP 1in4women experience domestic violence at least once in their life. It's the first time I've agreed to promote something but I'm not being paid and it's important.


Fran said...

Definitely a good cause.

Gillian said...

Temperamental > some part is temper, the rest part is MENTAL.

Yes, running is a good move. Along with karate Uma Thurman style.

Minnie said...

Brava, Jane, bravissima.
And to your telling The Girl about red flags.
It all starts at home, doesn't it? Oh, how I wish own mother had done something similar. It might have stopped me from marrying someone who in effect wrecked my life so that old age is more terrifying and insecure than it might have been - and unnecessarily so. I had things very well-ordered. Remarkable, considering I was an ugly, unlovable incompetent (according to familial lore) ;-)!

Jane said...

@Gillian - as ever you speak truth. I wish more girls (and boys) would learn Karate. It makes them so much more confident, although having a mean kick wouldn't hurt.

@Minnie - I'm sorry to hear about your experience. Alas, my mother being the product of a Catholic background would say things like: 'Don't go and get yourself raped,' and it's this kind of attitude of victim blaming that's so pernicious. I hope you find some peace xx