Fear + Hollywood + Money + Career =

Arrrghhhh! Will you look at the rubberised face of the utterly beautiful Nicole Kidman? I said that I'd had my forehead botoxed in my last post and what with oddly blank, expresssionless celebs, or Jocelyn Wildenstein horror stories, our perception of botox seems to be wrapped up in a toxic stew of vanity, fear of ageing, too much money and deluded notions of holding back time. And by the way, while everyone had a horror stricken laugh at the poor woman's face, let's not forget she did it in an attempt to keep her relationship together. But I don't think botox is any more madly induldgent than spending a fortune on some dubious face cream, and at least it works. Also I know it's not going to stop me ageing but I do feel loads better having a nicely smooth forehead that still moves, and leaving the rest of my face alone. The other thing my chatty botox doctor mentioned, apart from leaving the eyes alone unless they are very lined, was that the frozen face sydrome is also caused by having the bottom half of your face botoxed (around the nose, mouth and neck) instead of just a little in the upper area - frown lines, glabella (between the eyes) and a teeeny weeeny bit round the eyes themselves. Oh and it does hurt a bit. Like you're being attacked by a very pissed off (and persistent) bee. You can get an anaesthetic but apparently they're not very effective because of the problem of needle on bone. But don't go into one of those high street salons that offer any needle related products - you want someone who is very very experienced, and a properly qualified doctor or nurse. Botox may not be permanent but too much of the stuff or improperly injected, and you can look like a stroke victim for a couple of months. Applied by a professional and a nervous beauty therapist who's just done a weekend course is the difference between an artist wielding a brush, and a dog with its tail dipped in a paint pot.

Although having said that, I'm sure the surgeon who worked on La Kidman was not an orange faced teenage therapist, but she still ended up looking like she'd been dipped in formaldehyde.

As for those who exhort younger actresses to 'embrace their wrinkles' (Yes I'm talking to you Jane Fonda - no stranger to the scalpel yourself missy)- funny how the people who witter on about loving their wrinkles are always the ones who have both the choice and the funds to minimise them?